Apostrophail!

I think the number one all time grammar fail is the apostrophe.  It is not a punctuation mark for making words plural (more than one of something), it is a mark to show possession (ownership of something) or to show where letters are missing in a contraction (such as "don't").  There is an easy test I found to make it a little easier to determine if something needs an apostrophe for possession:

• Look for the possible possessive phrase:

– the man['s] desk

• Reverse the nouns:

– desk of the man

• Examine the base ownership word to determine who owns the thing (here "man").  The most important thing is not to change the spelling of a singular noun just to make it possessive.  For instance, the man (one man) is still the owner of the desk.  Ownership doesn't magically make the desk belong to more than one man.  It would be the "man's desk" not the "men's desk."

• Does the base word showing ownership end with an s sound?

• If it does not end in an s sound, add an apostrophe and s:

– the man's desk

• If the ownership word does end in an s sound, you usually add only an apostrophe:

– both boys' desks

UNLESS you actually hear the s sound when you say it, then you should add an apostrophe and s

– Phoenix's traffic

– Waitress's tables

That is a really important "unless" and one that is controversial.  Say it out loud if necessary.  Again, however, while it may be correct under one reference source, the person you are working for may not like it that way.  Do it the way they want it so you can stay employed, but keep fighting the fight and sharing your resources so that hopefully one day they will come over to your way of thinking (or just get tired of listening to you go on and on about it - which is what I think happens in my case more than I'd like to admit).

Proper names are sometimes the most difficult.  I once worked with someone with the last name "Andrews" and actually saw (with my own eyes) how people (and more than one) would try to make it possessive by adding the apostrophe before the s - Andrew's.  Never, ever change the spelling of someone's name before you make it plural or possessive.  Start with the name and then do what you need to do to it.  Just remember that is one thing that is sacred to everyone - their own name.

Apostrophes really are not as difficult as they seem to be when you see how often they are used incorrectly.  It is just something that takes thinking about to get right.  Take the time to think about it and you are a step ahead of most people.

I want to take just a minute to thank you all for the terrific response to my first blog posts.  I was really worried about starting this blog because I knew my audience would be at least as crazy about good grammar as I am, so I read, re-read, edited, re-edited, and procrastinated posting because I was worried that I had missed errors and would be publicly called out on it.  I did miss errors, but people were really nice about it, taught me a thing or two I didn’t know, and I was able to correct the errors without public humiliation.  I did tell you I’m not an expert and I’m not.  My hope is that I am able to impart some good tips to help you be just a little bit better.  If that happens, I feel like I have accomplished what I set out to do and actually made a difference – errors and all.