Grammar Giggles - Meetingingings

I find something wrong with every line, but "meetinging"? Seriously? I'm telling you--the local news channels are my greatest source of Grammar Giggles material.

None is Singular, None is Plural, None is Both

The word none can be singular or plural, depending on the number of the noun it is referring to. Back in my 4th grade English class, none was always singular. Again, grammar rules have changed and modern thought is that it can be either singular or plural. One way to decide is when you can use not one, then none is singular. If you mean not any, then none is plural.

• None of the directions he gave to get to the grocery store is accurate (meaning that not one of the different directions he gave to get to the grocery store is accurate)
• None of the directions he gave are accurate (meaning that not any of the directions he has ever given are accurate)

Confused yet? How about these:

• None of his electronic devices is set up correctly (not one of his devices)
• Of all his electronic devices, none are using Wi-Fi (not any of his devices)

Whether you use is or are will let your reader know what you mean.  By saying "None of his electronic devices is set up correctly," your reader should understand that you mean that not one of his many devices is set up correctly. When you say "Of all his electronic devices, none are using Wi-Fi," your reader understands that you mean that not any of his many devices are using Wi-Fi. The difference is relatively minor and regardless of which way you use it, some people (who learned that none was always singular back in 4th grade) will try to correct you. Know that as long as you are comfortable that you are using it correctly for what you mean, you can treat them like your mother-in-law—smile, nod your head, and keep doing it your way.

Grammar Giggles - State Bar "Success"

Today I was forced to change an attorney's password on the State Bar website. The screenshot below was what I received in response. I did send them a notification and hopefully it will be changed soon, but it's a pretty obvious error.

Grammar Giggles - It's Freesing in Here

As some of you know, it has been very cold in Arizona this past week. One of our local news channels (the same one that had trouble with Justin Bieber "loosing" his lunch) is at it again. I don't watch the news every night, but may have to make it a habit if I can continue to get Grammar Giggles material. Anyway, I digress. It was so cold here that we had a "freeze" watch . . . at least that's what all the other news stations called it.

3,483 People Say . . . Three Thousand Four Hundred . . . Starting a Sentence With a Number is Incorrect Say Several Thousand People

A friend recently sent me an article in a recent ABA Journal where a paragraph began with a quotation, which started with a number:

My initial instinct was "There is no way that is correct." My next thought was "Well, it IS a quotation." My research indicates, however, that in most cases it is incorrect.

Most sources suggest that if you are going to start a sentence with a number, you spell the number out. However, a reader may lose interest by the time they get to the message if the number is too long. It is better to reword the sentence. For example:

·         Twelve thousand four hundred and eight-two people are expected to post something on Facebook in the next half hour.

would be better stated:

·         In the next half hour, 12,482 people are expected to post something on Facebook.

Note that the number in the examples above is completely fabricated.

It appears that most style guides and grammar experts suggest never beginning a sentence with a number (although some say you can use a number when you start a sentence with a year—most still disagree). It is better practice just to avoid starting sentences with numbers altogether. In our example from the ABA Journal, it might have been better stated:

Karen A. Overstreet, a judge of the U.S. Bankruptcy Court for the Western District of Washington in Seattle, stated that “23,000 people in western Washington declared bankruptcy last year, and I’ve encountered a lot of bankruptcy debtors who have large amounts of student loans.”

It isn’t difficult to make things work so they are generally grammatically correct. It shows that you care about your writing so that people like me (and there are LOTS of us out there) who tend to read with a more “discerning” eye will appreciate your effort to make your work more readable.

Grammar Giggles - Measure This

A friend sent me this from her local grocery ad. Apparently "by the ea." is a new standard of measurement.

Things Are Coming to a Head[ing]

I learned more about headings last week than I thought I already knew about headings. Now I get the pleasure of passing all of that new knowledge on to you!

There are two types of headings—a run-in heading and a freestanding heading. A run-in heading is one where the substance of the paragraph starts immediately after the heading. Run-in headings are usually set off by bold font and/or underlining. A freestanding heading is one which is on a line by itself, sometimes as part of an outline in a document.

A run-in heading will always be followed by a form of punctuation depending on the type of heading. If the heading is a question, it will end in a question mark. However, in a freestanding heading, use no punctuation unless you need to use a question mark or an exclamation point because the heading demands it.

As for capitalization, you are supposed to capitalize all words in the heading over four letters and capitalize all words in the heading under four letters EXCEPT:

a

an

and

as

at

but

by

for

if

in

of

off

on

or

out

nor

the

to

up

Of course, as in all things grammar, there are exceptions to that rule. If a word on the “don’t capitalize” list begins or ends the sentence, it should be capitalized. If a word on that list comes after a dash or a colon, it should be capitalized. Capitalize short prepositions like up, in, on, and for when they are used with prepositions having four or more letters.

Rafting Up and Down the Colorado River

Driving In and Around the City

New Store Opening On or About March 1

I have printed this list of words that should not be capitalized except in the special circumstances and taped it to my work computer so that it is easier for me to remember. I honestly think titles look better with each word capitalized, but who am I to argue with Gregg? If that’s the rule and my attorneys don’t have a problem with formatting headings “by the book,” then I will adjust. Will you?

Grammar Giggles - Mad Libs - Give Me a Verb!

I saw this earlier this week on a local television news station website. Come up with different verbs to use where this is missing one and this headline could offer hours of entertainment!